The Mancunian Candidate

Panic in Manchester as news spreads that Primark cannot be opened due to a 'fault'.

Stunned Sunday shoppers stand frozen in confusion. One subversive Mancunian suddenly exclaims "Shall we goto Miss Selfridge instead?", but her anti-Primark ramblings are quickly quelled by an angry mob.

Mourners flock to Piccadilly Gardens to silently pay their respects to the paralysed store. In an unprecedented outpouring of grief, an impromtu memorial of extremely cheap handbags is beginning to form near the east entrance.

Richard is having trouble orienting himself in Manchester city centre due to the preponderance of triangular glass architecture.

Panorama: My Edinburgh Fringe Venue

Trafalgar Square, 2am

Touched By Michael Jackson

Badges available from Richard Dedomenici Products for £3.00 each plus p+p.

Plane Food Cafe

SouthBank

What Happens If You Ask For A Margarita?