DeDomenici Blog

Feel Revolting? Syrious Relief.

2011-12-08T00:59:00.014+01:00

My Panacea for Syria's ills:

(Click Here for hi-res version)
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31 things to try and take into Zuccotti Park

2011-11-17T11:31:00.006+01:00

Ridiculous rules are often the hardest to enforce, and the easiest to subvert.

Here, then, is a list of items to carry upon one's person on policed entry into Zuccotti Park, to test new Health & Safety rules banning tents and sleeping bags.

In ascending order:

1. A picnic blanket

If successful:

2. A picnic blanket with an integral collapsible pole system

3. Energy bars

If yes:
4. Solar Energy Bars

5. Hammock

If yes:
6. Rotary washing line

7. Folding camping furniture

If no:
8. Deck chairs

If no:
9. Deflated inflatable furniture

If yes:
10. Inflated inflatable furniture

If yes:
11. Inflated inflatable furniture filled with helium

12. Heat packs

13. Space blankets

14. Rubble bags

15. Gaffer tape

16. A photograph of a tent

17. A sign with the word TENT written on it

If yes:
18. A tent with the words THIS IS NOT A TENT written on it

19. Children's paddling pool

If yes:
20. Children's play house

21. One of these

If yes:
22. One of these

23. Construction worker's tent
(remember to dress as construction worker to increase your chances of success)

24. A mobile hot dog grill

25. An ice cream cart

26. Ingredients with which to produce lemonade

Advanced Projects

27. Design three triangular placards, made from correx or similar, that can be transformed into a teepee structure. Carry separately.

28. Conceal a sleeping bag under your clothing

If no:

29. Repeat, but conceal inside a body cavity

30. What is the smallest tent one can pitch in Zuccotti Park?

Find out by making an extremely small tent (I'm talking the size of a pack of cigarettes).

Pitch it in Zuccotti Park, then photograph it, using depth of field to make look much bigger.

Post photos online in an act of digital defiance.

Repeat with incrementally larger tents until you are asked to stop.

31. An enormous inflatable Rudolph

Good luck!

Richard DeDomenici
Backward Solutions For A Progressive Future

Siri = HAL?

2011-10-04T19:35:00.000+01:00

Royal Wedding Banknote Confetti

2011-04-28T18:05:00.006+01:00

What better way to celebrate Kate Middleton's fasttrack entry into the landed gentry, than with confetti illustrated with the face of her mother-in-law?

Don't answer that.

It was a rhetorical question.

Richard Loses £10,000 - Again!

2011-04-14T15:47:00.002+01:00

Further info here and here.

Laurie Taylor's Social Justice Slapdown

2011-04-06T17:14:00.006+01:00

Mr Taylor was heard to continue:

'Phukk you take it how u want shoot u in da face while I lightin up a blunt.'

Bus Stop Bust Op*

2011-03-08T05:32:00.018+01:00

Paddington, Saturday, 3:13pm

To mark International Women’s Day, a question for international fashion chain Mango:

How aware were your graphic designers of CBS Outdoors' centrally positioned transparent safety stud when preparing the new Scarlett Johansson London double-decker bus campaign?

(Click to Enlarge)

I think we should be told.

Original ScarJo pic here.

*Alternative titles: Oh I Do Like To Be Beside the T-Side, Product Placement, Bit Nippy.

The Future of Artist's Statements

2010-11-15T22:47:00.000+01:00

I just found this very perceptive description of my work down the back of the internet:

With these traits in theatre, I celebrate to speak the estate of home Richard Dedomenici, as his political problems bring both the former canadian group of beautiful probation about just as some of its many reasons.

Later, resulting his moist down towers about the website, Dedomenici complained a television of Fame Asylum at an home that told the parrot.

With these inks in music, I love to see the impact of way Richard Dedomenici, as his able movements traverse both the knowledgeable short-lived history of national lot also now as some of its new patients.

Other as a one business ever-renewing contain time, Dedomenici has webbed a turreted license of others that drink work of historicist mythology abilities in city with few religion and an disciplined identity summation to difference other cinnamon and shady show, tinkerbell hot. AIDS music, and total print.

You can't say fairer than that.

And there's almost definitely more to come:

Nov 14 Nov 13 Nov 08 Nov 02

DESTROYDON

2010-11-11T09:48:00.001+01:00

(Click through for HD)

Papping Paul Allen

2010-08-02T19:35:00.003+01:00

So today, whilst driving round Reykyavik with Alexander and Sigurður from artFart, we spotted Co-founder of Microsoft Paul Allen's superyacht:

Only when I got home did I realise I'd inadvertently caught a photo of him boarding his chopper.

Here's the pic:

And if we zoom in slightly:

I'm 100% pretty sure it's almost definitely him.

Compare and contrast:

Bingo.

TMZ.com, I will sell you the rights for a million dollars.

The 7-7 Emails

2010-07-07T10:46:00.007+01:00

To mark the fifth anniversary of the London bombings, I have published below some email correspondence from that weird and wretched week in July 2005:

[Note: For some reason they're all in lower case. Will try and fix.]

On 6 Jul 2005, at 13:20 Richard DeDomenici wrote:
Hello.
Does anyone have any suggestions of how to Make Britain Proud?
Preferably in less than 18 characters?
Submissions are welcome for a new project to utilize the now redundant 'Make Britain Proud - Back The Bid' stickers adorning London Underground trains.
Here are some of mine: Join The Euro, Decommission Trident, Buy A Rover, Destabilize The Monarchy and Kill Rachel Stevens.
In other news, I'm a bit concerned that my work may have lost some of its subversive edge.
You see, while many of my brave contemporaries are getting battered by riot police in Gleneagles, I am doing very little in a posh hotel in London.
By following the detailed instructions given in the 1980 government booklet Protect and Survive, I have constructed a domestic nuclear fallout shelter in room 163 of the Great Eastern Hotel. The bunker is assembled from fixtures and fittings scavenged from around the room. To add a performative element to the installation I am sleeping in the bunker for the next ten days.
Therefore you are cordially invited to visit me and attack my principles, or lack thereof.
In return I will offer you a a cup of tea, a biscuit and a free copy of my new publication, Intelligence Failure.
Email me back or gimme a call, and I'll endeavour to make sure that I'm in.
Visit http://www.stayatgeh.com for further details.
Richard x

This is a sporadic email from the Richard Dedomenici Mailing List. If you have received this email it is because you have in the past either emailed me or given me your email address, so it's your own fault in a way. Alternatively someone on the list might have emailed it to you, in which case blame them.
UNSUBSCRIBE
To be removed from the Richard Dedomenici Mailing List, reply to this message with the word "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line.
SUBSCRIBE
If you have been forwarded this e-mail from a friend and wish to be subscribed to the Richard Dedomenici Mailing List, reply to this message with the word "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject line.
UNUNSUBSCRIBE
If you have previously unsubscribed from the Richard Dedomenici Mailing List, have been forwarded this e-mail from a friend, and as a consequence wish to resubscribe, reply to this message with the word "UNUNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line.
If you have accidentally been sent this email twice, reply to this message with the word "I'VEACCIDENTALLYBEENSENTTHISEMAILTWICE" in the subject line.
DISCLAIMER: The views in this email do not necessarily represent those of Richard Dedomenici.

JonB
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 1:32 PM
you want me to link you on pixelsurgeon now mr dedomenici?
hope you are well
jon

Marcus
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 1:34 PM
how can i resist, my friend?
(i nearly wrote "how can i resist my friend" - but thought it would give the wrong impression)...
i could come and see you next tuesday night, say 9-9.30 ish? (i am going to walthamstow for something and could wend my way back that way...)
m

JonF
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 1:57 PM
make poor people happy
Jon

Leon
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 2:14 PM
Make Britain Proud -
Slap an American
Watch More TV
Shoplift Your Tea
Put The Seat Down
Emigrate

Helen
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 2:33 PM
Well my dear one-man subversion think tank
Well according to Chirac it would be to 'Teach the English how to cook'.
Oh, and enjoy the rest of the free cherries at the GEH. They won't last forever. And if you want to be subversive, why not dig your way out of your own room. [I can sneak in the tools]
Helen xx

Zoe
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 3:00 PM
Dick,
Just a quickie to say I hope you're managing to get a comfortable night's sleep in your bunker and that you're not getting too lonely.
Much love,
Zoe. XXX

Christopher
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 3:20 PM
How about 'Make Britain Proud' - Fear yourself - love your enemies.
Cx

Toby
Wed, 06 July 2005 15:10:17
Hey Richard
I stay at the GE frequently and am a member there- are you actually going to be there at any time I want to pop by?
Also, do I need to bring any sort of Geiger counter or protective clothing?
Or even to feed you scraps? Do you still have all your own hair and teeth?
toby

Denna
Wed, 06 July 2005 15:42:42
Bite Bush. I'd say Kill Bush but someone would get arrested. tell me when you def will be in residence at Grt eastern street and i'll pop along for a cup o tea!

Nic
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 4:21 PM
Eat more chips!
drink more tea!
(re)cycle more!
cut your hair!
clean behind your ears!
funny I should recieve an email form you today , as only this morning I was looking at the Laboratory of Insurrectionary Imagination website and loving it (but not a biblical sense)... I'll be passing through londinium this weekend, so if I can divert by a few hours I'll be sure to get in touch as I'd love to see your bunker and drink some tea.
don't feel bad about not being in scotland this week - The most right on thing I've done this G8 summit has been to turn off Live8 on my TV when Mariah Carey came on.
peace out
Nic

Jethro
Wed, 06 July 2005 17:23:20
By simply misspelling it...
X jethro

Ant
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 6:58 PM
make britain proud - make karaoke history

Kerry
Wed, Jul 6, 2005 at 7:47 PM
hi richard
happy to help
for a start how about
"embrace the exotic"
i hope i can get to london to taunt you in your shelter - if not i may email to "attack your principles" if that's ok????
good luck with it
kerry

Maxie
Thu, Jul 7, 2005 at 9:12 AM
Will you be in this Saturday?
Best,
Maxie

Dan
Thu, 07 July 2005 12:55:07
Hi Richard, I hope you're ok and safe in your shelter, would love to meet you in there. I'm very sad about the attacks - lemme know you ok
Cheers d

NeilA
Thu, Jul 7, 2005 at 1:25 PM
Yet again you capture the mood of the nation, good timing to be building a bomb shelter in London right now. Have a contraversial free few days
rest.
Art reflects life.
Neil.

Bryony
Thu, Jul 7, 2005 at 4:09 PM
hello,
what about 'slay a terrorist'
just checking you are ok after todays horrible escapades. i was evacuated from euston but nothing awful. weird really.
will try and get to GE are you there in the evening?
bry x

NeilB
Thu, Jul 7, 2005 at 11:01 PM
Hi my funny little friend. Firstly I hope you are well and keeping yourself out of the any of the recent terrible events in London.
I think your website is great, did you build it yourself? Sorry i cant make your show but i will try and keep an eye on what you are doing through your site.
It was good to see you at the wedding, thanks for making the trip.
I hope to see you soon
Neil

NeilB
Thu, 07 July 2005 23:05:33
my slogan by the way is
Terrorists are cocksuckers
I hope that is ok

PaulNY
Fri, Jul 8, 2005 at 3:23 AM
Dear Richard:
Email me that you're OK.
Your art friend,
Maybe you need to do some art on keeping fear inside.
a huge 'stiff upper lip"
Paul

Silke
Fri, 08 July 2005 12:13:40
Hi Richard,
I am glad you will sleep in a bunker.
Of course, you could not know how much sense it would make.
Make Britain Proud?
Only one way to make you lots proud:
Win against the Germans in what ever way.
(feel free to edit or add war, football, drinking, sex...)
Lots of love
hope to see ya soon
Silke xx

On Fri, 08 July 2005 at 14:19:39 Richard DeDomenici wrote:
I'm fine thanks.
Got evacuated from my nuclear bunker, though.
Thereby discovering a possible flaw in my methodology.
rx

Maxie
Fri, 08 July 2005 14:21:56
Glad you're okay! Will call. Is there a particular
time you'll be in?
Best,
Max

A/Ida
Mon, 11 July 2005 04:38:34
Dear Richard,
That hotel is near one of those train stations mentioned in the news, right? How about giving your minions a shout out, to let us all know you are fine and dandy? It was eerie getting that e-mail, then a few days later, seeing pics of the chaos in London on the TV.
Apropos of nothing I write from the flatlands of Beverly Hills, where on occasion really old celebrities get out of bed.
Best,
A/Ida

Mike
Tue, 12 July 2005 14:54:42
congratulations - you won the bid !

Above: Test sticker installed pre 7-7.

Breaking News from Plane Food Cafe Napoli

2010-06-19T13:02:00.004+01:00

Shameless Apple Post #4

2010-06-08T17:20:00.006+01:00

Four days after I change my Facebook profile picture to this:

Apple releases the iPhone 4 with modified five-pronged Torx screws like this:

Coincidence?

Yes.

Shameless Apple Post #3

Shameless Apple Post #2

Shameless Apple Post #1

Blueberry Asterisk Portraiture

2010-06-03T21:27:00.001+01:00

***

Panorama

2010-05-10T21:02:00.000+01:00

(Click To Enlarge)

How To Win The War In Afghanistan

2010-04-27T14:47:00.000+01:00

Simple.

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Walsh?

2010-04-20T20:47:00.002+01:00

www.flightradar24.com

New York Times: Tomorrow's News, Today!

2010-04-18T12:18:00.001+01:00

Loverground

2010-03-25T15:21:00.001+01:00

Horizongo.

Back To The OldSchool

2010-03-24T19:22:00.005+01:00

Yesterday I went to a memorial party for my secondary school English teacher Patrick Underhill, who died at the beginning of the year. It was a very well attended and upbeat celebration of his life, held in the school library.

Books and wine - two of Mr Underhill's very favourite things - were in abundance, as were teachers I hadn't seen for nearly fifteen years. It was both a terrifying and surreal experience, a bit like one of those recurring anxiety dreams where you are suddenly back in the classroom.

Luckily, unlike in my dream, I'd remembered to wear trousers.

But enough about my nightmares.

My most vivid memory of Patrick is when we all watched a video of Macbeth in class. When Lady Macbeth disrobed, my friend Gavin shouted 'phwoar', causing Mr Underhill to launch into an magnificent tirade about how we were insulting women, specifically our sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and aunts.

He finished with a devestating flourish:

"Ignorance associated with arrogance is obtusive"

A riposte from which I suspect Gavin has never entirely recovered, and one which subsequently entered my lexicon, even though I've checked, and the word 'obtusive' isn't actually in the dictionary.

Mr Underhill then, passionate about language.

Even language that doesn't fully exist.

Warning: Portions of the above story are likely to have been misremembered. If anyone else recalls what actually happened, do comment below.

Patrick in his youth

Me and my old nemesis Mr Scarth

Eileen Underhill's fabulous purple stockings and £4 heels from Camden Market.

Information Graphics

2010-02-06T13:26:00.000+01:00

Cable Chews Network

2010-01-28T12:24:00.004+01:00

Here I am insouciantly chewing gum in the background on CNN.

(Forward to 2m44s)

I'm a Photographer, Not a Terrorist

2010-01-23T18:49:00.002+01:00

http://photographernotaterrorist.org

Our Cat Ran Up Their Ginnel*

2009-11-19T17:16:00.003+01:00

(Click to Enlarge)

The word ‘Ginnel’ is a northern dialect term for a narrow alley. The earliest literary reference to the word was in 1885, when Benjamin Brierley wrote the simile: "as pleasant as stondin in a Ginnel ov a wyndy neet waitin o'th' sweetheart comin out". At Artsadmin the Ginnel refers colloquially to the foyer of Toynbee Studios.**

For basement tenants, visiting the Ginnel is often their only opportunity to experience natural daylight and human interaction. Many go there to check their pigeon holes several times a day, even though there's only ever one postal delivery (at most).

Nearly all visitors entering and exiting the Artsadmin compound must first pass through the Ginnel, and so inevitably, if you loiter there for long enough, someone amazing will walk by.

The Ginnel, then, is an overlooked social hub.***

Three cheers for the Ginnel and all who pass through her!

*Lancashire phrase used to indicate a very tenuous familial relationship between two people

**other nouns with a similar meaning include ‘Snicket’ and ‘Flutester’

***equalled only by the narrow entrance to the middle bar at The Arches, Glasgow during NRLA weekend

Cross Purposes

2009-11-04T23:38:00.004+01:00

Today me and Luci visited the new diagonal pedestrian crossing at Oxford Circus.

Almost immediately we were accosted by a passing documentary film crew:

And you can watch Will and Jenny's report here!

I read about the plans for the crossing last year, and am actually quite surprised at how quickly it's been implemented, and how closely they kept to the original concept:

The crossing ignites memories of my trip to Tokyo in 2005:

Another Japanese feature that London should consider adopting is these countdown timers:

Which would help emphasise the rather tight 30 second diagonal phase.

But If you think Oxford Circus is perilous, just wait until they install one of these Kyoto-style footbridges across the Thames...

Mummy, the television news is swearing at me.

2009-10-16T14:42:00.004+01:00

Fast-forward to 1m51s:

I am so offended that I am deleting myself from the internet immediately.

The Pussycat Dolls Have Got A Lot To Answer For

2009-10-06T12:57:00.004+01:00

Last night my friend Bryony texted me to say that she'd just put me on the guestlist to see Same Difference perform their new single at Madame JoJo's.

Thus, I immediately jumped on the tube, arriving just in time to witness the following:

You can't say fairer than that.

Their performance was part of Popshow Gold. Also on the bill were three quite similar new girlbands trying a bit too hard to be sexy. Here are two of them:

And here's the third.

I blame the Pussycat Dolls.

For most things.

Just look what they've done to Sugababes.

Quantum Mechanics

2009-10-06T12:39:00.000+01:00

If you observe something, you change it.

Thankyou Josephine for shaming me into updating DeDomenici Blog!

Edinburgh Fringe 2009

2009-08-05T13:09:00.001+01:00

Click images for more info.

Norwich Goes Blue

2009-07-24T14:34:00.003+01:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Rub Me Up The Wrong Way 2: The Live Art Supergig
Norwich Arts Centre
Saturday July 25th 2009
7pm - midnight
£6.00 / £4.00 concessions

Following the success of 2007’s event, Richard Dedomenici is back to curate another exciting programme of contemporary performance. This time he is exploring the increasing trend of live artists using music in their work, and will programme the event like a music festival, with performances taking place throughout the whole building and gardens.

Featuring:

Other/Other/Other

Hunt/Darton

Foster & Gilvan

Bryony Kimmings

Foreign Muck

B.O.R.N

Fancy Footwerk

Paul Osborne

Here is a video of the last Rub Me Up The Wrong Way.

NHSPBCC

2009-07-14T20:22:00.010+01:00

I've just been catching up on the seventh season of 24 and couldn't help but notice the uncanny resemblance between US President Allison Taylor:

and my former secondary school Headmistress Mary Marsh:

Sorry, *Dame* Mary Marsh.

She was awarded a DBE by the Queen in the 2007 New Year's Honours list for her services to families and children.

Then last year she stepped down as Chief Executive of the NSPCC, and was appointed a non-executive director of HSBC.

Which means my old headmistress is now essentially my bank manager, so I shan't comment further on rumours of a planned merger between the two organisations, lest she cancels my overdraft and gives me a detention.

Conspiracy theory as to why they changed the logo of my secondary school in the early 90s

2009-07-14T20:22:00.008+01:00

This is the current logo, which features on signage, letterheads etc:

And this is the old logo, which still appears on the school uniform blazer badge:

By removing a few threads you could easily end up with this:

(Why none of us thought of it at the time is beyond me.)

PS. And yes, I have just been watching Valkyrie.

Warning

2009-07-14T18:33:00.001+01:00

I have recently been to a school reunion, so apologise if the following two posts are a little nostalgic.

The Mancunian Candidate

2009-07-06T15:52:00.004+01:00

Panic erupts in Manchester as news spreads that Primark cannot be opened due to a 'fault'.

Stunned Sunday shoppers stand frozen in confusion. One subversive Mancunian suddenly exclaims "Shall we goto Miss Selfridge instead?", but her anti-Primark ramblings are quickly quelled by an angry mob.

Mourners flock to Piccadilly Gardens to silently pay their respects to the paralysed store. In an unprecedented outpouring of grief, an impromtu memorial of extremely cheap handbags is beginning to form near the east entrance.

Authorities later trace the source of the fault to a defective bollard near the Arndale Centre:

Richard is having trouble orienting himself in Manchester city centre due to the preponderance of triangular glass architecture.

2009-07-06T14:38:00.000+01:00

Panorama: My Edinburgh Fringe Venue

2009-07-02T15:05:00.000+01:00

Trafalgar Square, 2am

2009-06-27T02:58:00.000+01:00

Touched By Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T15:23:00.006+01:00

Badges available from Richard Dedomenici Products for £3.00 each plus p+p.

2009-06-25T10:14:00.002+01:00

2009-06-25T10:14:00.001+01:00

Plane Food Cafe

2009-06-25T10:13:00.002+01:00

SouthBank

2009-06-25T10:13:00.001+01:00

What Happens If You Ask For A Margarita?

2009-06-13T15:22:00.000+01:00

Palindrome

2009-06-13T00:43:00.000+01:00

Tube Strike!

2009-06-11T00:31:00.001+01:00

Rev Billy Arrested at Westfield

2009-05-30T15:39:00.002+01:00

Video here.

Logging Tapes in Cambridge

2009-05-25T17:44:00.000+01:00

Rev Billy Tour Begins

2009-05-23T22:24:00.022+01:00

As the official videographer of the 2009 Reverend Billy Shopocalypse Tour, I thought I ought to post a few pics from the past couple of days. Click them to enlarge.

I am also attempting to edit video as I travel the country with the notorious New York anti-corporate activist and his choir; here are a couple of examples from today in London:

REVEREND BILLY GOES TO DOWNING STREET from DeDomenici on Vimeo

REVEREND BILLY GOES TO PARLIAMENT SQUARE from DeDomenici on Vimeo

The 10-date tour has just kicked off, and should be in a town near you soon!

Grantham

Above: The Disembodied Floating Head of Rev Billy.

London

Richard DeDomenici is 8cm from the Pet Shop Boys

2009-05-11T23:21:00.001+01:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Japan hoped to draw a line under recent economic losses today, as the global rebranding of the nations largest automaker Toyota is rolled out globally

2009-04-29T17:54:00.007+01:00

(Click to Enlarge)

The company's new name 'Atoyot' translates literally as 'One who chases after two hares won't catch even one', however analysts doubt whether such a superficial measure will fix the underlying economic malaise afflicting the Japanese manufacturing industry.
,

Walking in the footsteps of JG Ballard

2009-04-28T15:58:00.007+01:00

To commiserate the passing of JG Ballard, who died last week, I visited Sutton Road multi-storey car park in my hometown Watford:

(Click to Enlarge)

In 1971 JG Ballard used the towns then futuristic parking structures as a location for his short film CRASH!

He referred to Watford as ‘the Mecca of the multi-storey car park’.

(Click to Enlarge)

Shot for the BBC two years before his notorious novel of the same name was published, the film followed Ballard as he outlined some of the ideas that would later form the basis of the book (itself adapted for the screen by David Cronenberg in 1996).

When I first saw the short film, specifically the moment I recognised Sutton Road multi-storey car park, it was the second nearest I've ever come to having a religious experience.

(Click to Enlarge)

CRASH! no longer seems to exist on the internet, although I do have a copy on vhs somewhere, which I shall endeavour to locate, digitise, and upload.

Ballard said of Watford's car parks:

'I was quite interested in the gauge of psychoarchitectonics.'

And one can't say fairer than that.

Further reading:
http://www.ballardian.com/crash-full-tilt-autogeddon
http://www.ballardian.com/iain-sinclair-when-in-doubt-quote-ballard

UPDATE

Grebmops uploaded CRASH! two days ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT2eECKvdTc
.
.

WLTM

2009-04-21T20:23:00.000+01:00

Is this the same woman?

2009-04-15T15:02:00.000+01:00

If so, congrats!

Disappointed

2009-04-14T17:30:00.004+01:00

I am having a disappointing visit to South Kensington.

First, the big spinning globe that you travel through on an escalator
in the Geological Museum, making you massively disoriented, was
switched off. On further inquiry I was told that it had been
permanently decommissioned.

The next best transcendental experience in the museum, the earthquake simulator, was also faulty, twitching intermittently instead of shaking violently and terrorising children as it should do.

Finally, in the Science Museum, I see this sign:

(Click to Enlarge)

(I shan't even go into the ridiculously cursory bag searching charade
that must take place before entry - that is a subject for an entire other post).

It's almost as if the museums are consciously trying to suck all the
joy out of the museum-going experience in order to actively deter
visitors.

Have you been disappointed in a museum recently? If so, feel free to
comment below.

Excess Visions of Visions of Excess

2009-04-13T23:18:00.007+01:00

Judging by the large number of cameras flashing and chirping in a variously distracting/annoying/rude manner, I'm sure there is already an outpouring of documentation pertaining to yesterday's Visions of Excess live art all-nighter at Shunt Vaults, so instead I present a single image, taken betwixt scheduled performances, which I think neatly encapsulates the tone of the evening:

(The chocolate bar and the lipstick are analogous to the bodily functions and fluids displayed in much of the work, while the indistinct morass of human flesh in the background alludes to the visceral nature of the evening's programme.)

My brain is still struggling to interpret most of the things I witnessed, and indeed has erased some of the more extreme content, so it is impossible for me to offer a full review at this juncture.

Is it me, or is the top of the Hamburg television mast leaning slightly?

2009-04-10T16:36:00.004+01:00

(Click to Enlarge)

Quignunc

2009-04-09T16:26:00.005+01:00

As part my ongoing quest to remain seconds behind the zeitgeist, today I am listening to the eponymous debut album by Eoghan Quigg.

It comprises 39 minutes of poorly-produced auto-tuned cover-versions of mainly bad songs.

I have two further observations:

Track 4 is a high-energy reworking of Abba's Does Your Mother Know?, a song about a chap being pursued by a girl who is clearly far too young for him.

Surely Quigg, at 16, is himself far too young to sing such a song?

He'd have to be wooed by a toddler for it to make any sense.

In which case, why has he gone to the trouble in Track 8, a preposterous* cover of Busted's Year 3000, of changing the lyrics from:

'and your great great great grandaughter is pretty fine'

'and your great great great grandaughter is doing fine'?

Come on Quigg; why the inconsistency? Are you a nonce or not?

*Imagine a precocious Irish boy trying to do an impression of some obnoxious English boys trying to do an American accent. Hilarity ensues.

Update: The reason for the lyric change is that Year 3000 is not, in fact, a direct cover of the Busted original, but a cover of the Jonas Brothers' cover of the Busted original.

FREE ME

2009-04-01T14:31:00.002+01:00

Welcome back Aldgate East eastern ticket hall!

2009-04-01T14:27:00.000+01:00

Don't be upset, but I was expecting you to look more different.

Flying Through Hoops With Captain Mace

2009-03-24T18:10:00.000+01:00

Captain Franko

2009-03-24T17:29:00.000+01:00

Captain Chief

2009-03-24T17:27:00.001+01:00

Compare & Contrast #2

2009-03-23T21:16:00.006+01:00

This is one of the many Google Street View images censored since launch in London last week:

And this is my recreation from Saturday night:

That is all.

Google, if you are reading this, and I know that you are, I offer you the rights to this photo, and permission for you to paste it in place of the original. I realise it's shot at night, but I'm sure you can adjust the levels in Picasa.

Compare & Contrast #1

2009-03-23T21:15:00.000+01:00

Hasn't Bryony's injury healed up marvelously in the past fortnight?

7th March

20th March

That is all.

Science Experiment #3

2009-03-18T17:41:00.013+01:00

Whilst I've been in Germany there have been complaints about the distinct lack of Heidi Mace-related science experiments on DeDomenici Blog.

So without further ado:

What's Heavier: Mini DV Tapes, or Cheese?

More specifically, which is heaviest, 2x Sony Premium Mini DV tapes 5 packs, or 2x Costcutter Heritage Red Leicester cheese?

Front Elevation

Method

Without holding the items, Miss Mace estimated that the cheese would be heavier than the tapes.

I then took the items to the second floor, where I weighed them using an electronic scale and noted the results.

Side Elevation

Results

The Cheese was heavier.

But not by as much as one may think.

The combined weight of the cheese was 428 grams, whereas the mini dv tapes were 356g.

That makes the cheese just 72 grams heavier than the tapes.

There was a 4g discrepancy between the two packets of cheese, and, interestingly, a 2g difference in the tapes.

Discovering the source of this 2g variation is beyond the remit of today's experiment, but will be the topic of a future post.

Arial View

Conclusion

Costcutter Heritage Red Leicester Cheese has over 2x the density of Sony Premium Mini DV Tapes.

All that remains is for me to once again offer Miss Mace my congratulations on her excellent weight assessment skills.

Miss Mace: Front Elevation

Competition!

Question: if there is a 4g discrepancy between the two packets of cheese, and a 2g difference in the two packets of tapes, and if the combined weight of the cheese is 428 grams, and the mini dv tapes 356g, what are the individual weights of each cheese and tape packet?

Answers below. There is no need to show your working.

(if you're reading this, then clearly you're not working)

The winner gets a prize.

Breaking News - What Joseph Fritzl had for Breakfast

2009-03-16T16:30:00.002+01:00

Oh, It's David Jessel!

2009-03-15T23:17:00.002+01:00

Who Is This Old Biffa?

2009-03-15T23:15:00.002+01:00

Wobblography

2009-03-15T21:57:00.002+01:00

I inadvertantly christened a dynamic new filmmaking movement this afternoon, whilst documenting my MEGAPIXEL performance in Berlin.

The combination of zero editing, low frame rate, the iPhone's wobbly rolling shutter, and the aftermarket 6x zoom lens creates an avant-garde aesthetic for the 21st century!

I christen it Wobblography; You wait, it'll be the new Dogme 95.

Scientific Experiment #2

2009-03-10T17:42:00.006+01:00

METHOD

In today's blind taste test, Miss Mace administered the test subject (lab rat DeDomenici) with three naturally flavoured sun dried raisins.

The test subject was asked to determine the flavour of each.

RESULTS

The test subject gave the following responses when asked to identify the raisin-based stimuli:

a) Lemon

b) Watermelon

c) Cherry

Whereas the correct flavours were as follows:

a) Lemon

b) Orange

c) Cherry

CONCLUSION

The test subject was able to correctly identify the flavour in 66.666% of cases.

The test subject identified 33.333% incorrectly.

This speaks equally highly of both the manufacturer of the raisins and the palate of the test subject.

Also, Miss Mace should be commended for formulating both a unique and vigourously conducted experiment.

Another Scientific Experiment will take place in due course.

In a blind taste test Miss Heidi Mace cannot tell the difference between Tesco Finest Swiss 72% Plain Chocolate and Tesco Standard Plain Chocolate.

2009-03-09T18:30:00.001+01:00

Does this mean that:

a) Miss Heidi Mace is not as posh as she looks

or

b) Tesco is conning us.

or

c) both

More research is urgently needed.

Volunteers please contact DeDomenici Blog.

Quote of the Day

2009-03-07T15:01:00.001+01:00

"I don't want to get up early in the morning and throw custard at Peter Mandelson but I don't have a choice because democracy has failed us."

Leila Deen

Artsmadmen

2009-03-05T18:50:00.003+01:00

Presenting Miss Heidi Mace, new box office/marketing assistant at Artsadmin:

Juxtaposed with Miss Joan Holloway, office manager at Sterling Cooper, the fictional 60's ad agency featured in the American drama Mad Men:

I can only hope that, unlike poor Miss Holloway, Miss Mace is not subjected to the same misogyny, passive smoking, alcoholism, homophobia, racism and adultery prevalent in the aforementioned tv show.

But I somehow doubt it.

Not while [DELETED BY MODERATOR] still works there, anyway.

I'm Voten For Oaten

2009-02-16T16:24:00.000+01:00

I thought this read 'ScatCampus'.

What should I put in this toaster?

2009-02-13T10:25:00.000+01:00

Cast your votes. No body parts.

New Loreal Collogen Replumper

2009-02-13T09:59:00.000+01:00

Gives A Bouncy Feel To The Skin.

Infamy.

2009-02-12T21:56:00.001+01:00

My phone just went off twice in a talk by Alex Kelly from Third Angel.
I never thought it would happen to me. The handset in question didn't
have a sim in it, but I'd set an alarm on it yesterday, which it
clearly commited to memory. I am ashamed. Apologies to all involved.

Your Smile Is Our Reward

2009-02-12T19:16:00.000+01:00

This leaflet beside my bed at the hotel Ibis says that if they can't
satisfy a problem that's their fault within fifteen minutes, the
room's free.

Today I tried to have a shower, and the water was cold. When I phoned
reception, they said there was some maintainance happening and it
would be fixed in twenty minutes.

I didn't have twenty minutes, so now I am slightly grubby looking.

Thus I should qualify for a free room status, right?

I will attempt to claim my reward this evening.

Wish me luck.

I'll give you a pound if you drink this.

2009-02-12T15:53:00.000+01:00

Performance Space

2009-02-12T11:05:00.001+01:00

Two satellites have collided in space for the first time, creating two
massive debris fields in low-earth orbit.

I don't want to scaremonger, but I do think it would be prudent to
spend the next five days in an underground bunker, just in case.

As such, I'm attending the National Review of Live Art, held deep in
the arches below Glasgow Central train station.

I'll be blogging the festival, which runs until Sunday, so be sure to
check out the coverage here, if you haven't already been decimated by
space-junk.

Glas-snow

2009-02-12T10:46:00.000+01:00

2009-02-08T16:02:00.002+01:00

2009-02-08T16:02:00.000+01:00

2009-02-08T16:01:00.001+01:00

Irrefutable Photographic Evidence of Global Warming

2009-02-05T18:53:00.002+01:00

The Other Day:

Today:

On the woo-woo to Exeter

2009-02-03T13:20:00.000+01:00

The Right Kind of Snow

2009-02-03T13:14:00.000+01:00

2009-02-02T19:06:00.000+01:00

Awards Season

2009-01-25T19:31:00.006+01:00

As the Academy Awards approach, my video Pedestrian Congestion Charging has been voted one of the five funniest urban planning videos on YouTube by Chris Steins, co-Editor-in-Chief of Planetizen, the LA-based one-stop source for urban planning news, commentary, interviews, event coverage, book reviews, announcements, jobs, consultant listings, training, and more!

Planetizen is often considered a bellweather indicator for Oscar contention, due to their close geographical proximity to the headquarters of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences:

Thankyou Chris, my people are brushing down my tux as we speak.

Outraged Swan Accuses Distant Police Vans of Colour-Scheme Plagiarism

2009-01-13T00:30:00.002+01:00

Emergency Aid for Gaza Panorama

2009-01-12T23:56:00.002+01:00

(click to enlarge)

2009-01-10T16:12:00.001+01:00

Surveillance!

2009-01-10T16:02:00.000+01:00

The Shoe on a Stick

2009-01-10T14:37:00.000+01:00

The new international protest shorthand!

The Nude Doctor

2009-01-08T15:40:00.011+01:00

d
I just received a dvd of Basic Instinct 2 from Amazon.

It cost me one pound.

I am proud to confirm that I appear in nine frames of the motion picture, voted worst film of 2007:

(click to enlarge)

That's six more than previously thought.

Here is a clearer image of me on set, which sadly didn't make it into the final cut:

I will update you again, as and when I get Blu-Ray.
d

It's ok, the old staff have retrenched to Kentish Town

2009-01-07T16:02:00.000+01:00

Squadron HQ, 121 Kentish Town Road NW1 8PD.

Laurence Corner army surplus shop in Euston has shut down.

2009-01-07T15:33:00.000+01:00

You will be missed

Oh. My. God.

2009-01-01T18:27:00.002+01:00

I have just discovered that I can touch-type.

It's a revelation equivalent only to learning that you can suck your own cock.

(checking)

Nope, still can't do that.

DeDomenici Review of The Year: Highpoint

2009-01-01T17:06:00.000+01:00

Beef Jerky Cold Turkey

2009-01-01T16:14:00.004+01:00

For my New Year's Resolution I have decided to go Cold Turkey on Beef Jerky:

Instead I shall be Self-Harming on Pork Farming:

And Blowing My Mind on Seasoned Pork Rind:

I Thank You.